2/18/2014


Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991), Vanilla Ice
Here are some of the worst hip hip songs from science fiction movies and TV. Hip Hop culture and science fiction don't usually intersect. When it does, it can be great as I listed in my 11 Greatest Hip Hop Moments in Sci-Fi list. When it goes bad, it goes shockingly bad. The term "Hip Hop" actually covers a wide variety of history of artistic forms, from clothes to dancing. I'm just focusing on music in this post.

Here now are the most shockingly bad hip hop songs of the genre.


8. The Addams Family (1991) "Addams Groove" by MC Hammer
The MC Hammer single "Addams Groove", was featured in the closing credits of the movie The Addams Family (1991). The song was given the the Golden Raspberry Award for "Worst Original Song" at the 12th Golden Raspberry Awards in 1991. But the song was MC Hammer's (real name Stanley Kirk Burrell) last top ten hit in the United States. The video has a ton of black humor including guillotines, Iron Maidens and torture wheels. If you hate Hammer, then the scene with his head on a dinner platter is probably pretty enjoyable.


7. The Shaggy Dog (2006)  "Big Dog" by Akon
The 2006 remake of "The Shaggy Dog" starring Tim Allen is terrible. Richard Roeper listed it as one of his "Worst films of 2006" and Roger Ebert gave it two stars out of four. For some reason Akon (whose real name is Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Bongo Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam) cranked out a rap song based on turning into an English Sheepdog.


6. Ghostbusters II (1989) "Ghostbusters" by Run-DMC
The 1984 "Ghostbusters" song recorded by Ray Parker, Jr. is brilliant and stands alone as one of the greatest movie songs of all time. The Run-DMC remix for Ghostbusters II is the exact opposite. While the group are hip hop pioneers and have produced dozens of hits, this song is terrible. The song wanders around from weak to bad before reaching the awesome chorus only to fall apart again. The video guest starring Sigourney Weaver only makes it more confusing.



5. Deep Blue Sea (1999) "Deepest Bluest" by LL Cool J
LL Cool J starred in this unimpressive science fiction film about genetically modified sharks. The whole soundtrack consisted of hip hop and R&B music, but it wasn't very successful. It only made it to #55 on the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums. LL Cool J's "Deepest Bluest" fit his trademark bravado, but weak lyrics and a rock theme meant it never cracked the Billboard charts.


4. Street Fighter (1994) "Straight to my Feet" MC Hammer ft. Deion Sanders
Yes. That Deion Sanders. There was a time when football player Deion Sanders imagined that he had a music career and he teamed up with hip-hop artist M.C. Hammer to produce a song The soundtrack to the Van Damme video game action flick had modest success on the Billboard charts, hitting #135 on the Billboard 200 and #34 on the Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums. The far superior single "Something Kinda Funky" by Rally Ral made it to #39 on the Hot Rap Singles. What makes "Straight to My feet" amazingly bad is the video. MC Hammer does a great job as always, but Deion Sanders struggles to do his best Tupac impression. The sight of Jean Claude Van Damme awkwardly dancing makes me laugh. Hard.


3. Addams Family Values (1993) "Addams Family (Whoomp!)" by Tag Team
The original Addams Family song by MC Hammer was a modest hit, so they decided to follow-up with the flavor of the month: Tag Team. The chorus awkwardly tries to shoehorn the tagline from their hit single "Whoomp, There It Is" into the song. It won "Worst Original Song" at the 1993 Razzie Awards.


2. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze (1991) "Ninja Rap" by Vanilla Ice
The second Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie has one of the worst hip-hop songs in the history of the genre. During one of the fight scenes, they break into a club where Vanilla Ice is performing. The most amazing special effect is that it's full of people. He "improvises" the "Ninja Rap." The film was aimed squarely at kids, but the song features a shockingly inappropriate number of crotch thrusts.


1. The Super Mario Brother Super Show! (1989) "Plumbers Rap" by Unknown 
In 1989, Nintendo's Super Mario Bros. and Super Mario Bros. 2 video games were insanely popular. To capitalize on the success, they made a cartoon show called The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! The show starred ex-wrestler "Capt" Lou Albano as Mario and Danny Wells as Luigi. It opened with a rap song known as "The Plumbers Rap (Hooked on the Brothers)." The song itself is not terrible for a late-80s rap song, although it does promise us that we'll be "hooked on the brothers" 5,000 times. This is ironic since the show got canceled after four months. What makes it the most shockingly bad hip hop song is the dancing. The two old guys desperately improvise a dance routine and are oblivious to the beat. It's almost unwatchable. We'll never know who did the song, because they've gone into the witness protection program for terrible hip hop artists.


Which is the worst hip hop song of the genre?


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18 comments:

Jackie Jormpjomp said...

What would his being white have anything to do with it?

Jackie Jormpjomp said...

White, Asian, black, whatever. You're a dick.

Jackie Jormpjomp said...

You must be really popular with the ladies. You know, with all that charm.

Nigel Mitchell said...

Actually, my brother and I are African American. But to each his own.

Pat Dilloway said...

Moral of the story: never have MC Hammer on your soundtrack. "Deep Blue Sea" is great just for the part where Samuel L. Jackson gets eaten by the shark during his big "Win one for the Gipper!" speech.

Rusty Carl said...

That first Adam's Family vid... that's hard to watch. Those outfits were so awful. That dancer in the hat... my eyes are bleeding.


But it's interesting to see the changes to MC Hammer from 91 to 94... was that during the time that we tried to remake himself as a hardcore rapper. I vaguely recall that gangsta rap got popular as his star fell to earth and he briefly try to remake his image. I seem to recall him in a lot of black clothing around that time.


And I kinda like the LL Cool J one though. I did not like the movie, and I don't care for the video that much either, but I also am not a fan of the constant self referencing that so many musical artists do anyway. You know, "I'm a this, I'm a that, I'm as great as a whatever."


I am forced to agree though, those videos are all pretty bad.

DAVID WALSTON said...

Bad is bad! The "witness protection program" is the only place that might keep them safe.

He Geek She Geek said...

Often, music is bad in retrospect. These we knew were bad as soon as we heard them. Good choices.

Maurice Mitchell said...

I should have told you. You're not supposed to look directly at the Hammer video. You're right about his career Rusty. He started trying to fight back against his pop image by getting more "hardcore." It didn't work too well. As for the bravado: "I'm the greatest blogger this world has ever heard! Got Huffington Post rippin' off my every word!" Or something like that...

Maurice Mitchell said...

That's really the only part I remember Pat. It's one of the most surprising deaths in movie history!

submaza said...

Well they surly are the top most worst hip hop songs. I hate all of the above list.

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disqus_f0m0KOHNzQ said...

i remember villain ice saying in a interview once that his original image was by death row and he didn't really dress like that and he started to wear his more normal clothes later in his rap carer

disqus_f0m0KOHNzQ said...

how is Adam family sy-fy

John Morgan said...

Rila Fukushima...? Are you kidding?? She looks like one of those "Grey" aliens.

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How is she on this list??

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Tony Sheik said...

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