With the recent
Batman vs. Wolverine video, the debate in the YouTube comments revolved around fans who said simply, "No one can kill Wolverine." Well, that's not true. At all. In
Days of Future Past, a Sentinel incinerated a future version of Wolverine with a single energy blast. In
Enemy of the State, Wolverine is killed by Kitty Pryde phasing into his skull and destroying his brain. But since those were alternate realities, let's assume the "real" Wolverine can't be killed those ways. That still leaves us eight more ways to kill Wolverine, but there's some points that need to be addressed first.
The idea of killing Wolverine is a surprisingly controversial topic. The biggest problem is that the comics have gone crazy with his powers. It's not enough that he can heal quickly. Wolverine heals so fast and completely that it's like he's not hurt at all. It's not enough that he has a reinforced skeleton. He has a skeleton that simply cannot be damaged in any way. They've basically made him indestructible, but have gone way beyond logic and consistency. That's why we're setting some ground rules. Wolverine has to follow the basic laws of physics and biology. His defenses are an adamantium (allegedly indestructible) skeleton, and rapid healing. Other than that, he's a normal human being with the same weaknesses as everyone else. So let's start with number 8...
8. Drown Him - One way to kill him would be to lock Wolverine in a tank of water or throw him into the ocean, and chain him up so he can't get out. Even with his healing and adamantium bones, Wolverine is still a human with internal organs like lungs. Lungs can't "heal" a lack of oxygen. His body would try to heal the dying cells, but the new cells would also die of oxygen starvation. Deprived of oxygen, Wolverine's brain would
shut down in minutes. Can Wolverine's brain repair itself? Possibly. So let's add on the cardiac arrest that would follow from the increased stress on his heart. With his brain dead, lungs starved, and his heart no longer pumping blood, his body would be dead. His healing factor can't work after death. If it does, then it's not "healing," it's magic. Besides, Wolverine admitted that drowning is one way to kill him in
Wolverine during a fight with Tiger Shark, and he said again in
Weapon X: The Adamantium Men.
7. Incinerate Him - The next easiest way to kill Wolverine would be to subject him to extreme heat and incinerate him. A lot of fans try to debunk that idea by pointing to the fact that Wolverine's
survived a nuclear blast many times in the comics.
In
Venom #9, Wolverine completely heals from a nuclear bomb blast that destroys a village. Same thing happens in
Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk. Yet those comics can't be canon - it makes no sense. Wolverine heals quickly, but he's not immune to heat or radiation. The extreme heat of a nuke would incinerate his flesh, and the radiation would penetrate his adamantium bones to destroy his bone marrow, all within a fraction of a second. Before Wolverine could even blink, he would be nothing but a pile of metal bones. With nothing to regenerate, Wolverine would surely be dead.
6. Starve Him - This is another idea based on the fact that Wolverine still has internal organs that have to function. Again, you can't "heal" not having food. This is apparently a controversial topic, because in one comic, Wolverine survived starvation by eating himself. That's impossible. It's the
law of conservation; Wolverine can't take in more energy from his body than he puts into it. The energy he gained from his own flesh would be negated by the energy being consumed by his rapid healing. There's also the fact that matter cannot be created or destroyed. Where would Wolverine get the extra mass to create new cells if he's eating the old ones? Eventually, Wolverine runs out of energy and his healing factor weakens to the point where it stops working, and he dies. Okay, that was really nasty...let's talk about something easier to stomach, like...
5. Cut Off His Head -
Professor Xavier himself suggested decapitation, and are you gonna argue with him? Didn't think so. Of course, the problem with cutting off his head is Wolverine's adamantium spine. But not really, because there's one gaping flaw in his spine: the joints. Wolverine doesn't have a solid metal spine, otherwise he wouldn't be able to bend over or turn his head. The joints connecting Wolverine's vertebrae have to be soft tissue, so any sharp blade could cut between the vertebrae and sever his head. Then all you need to do is keep his head away from his body. Without his head, Wolverine's body can't function, and he can't grow a new head (Wolverine's a healer, not a starfish). Without his body, Wolverine's head has no lungs to breathe. Let's be generous and give him five minutes for his brain to die from lack of oxygen.
I know, I know. In
Ultimate Wolverine vs. Hulk, they cut off his head, and he survived. In that comic, Wolverine also developed the previously unknown ability to breathe through his face, so let's just say that wasn't canon and move on.
4. Drown Him in Acid - Just like we can imagine a metal that can't be destroyed, let's imagine an acid that can eat through anything. We drop Wolverine into the acid bath and don't let him get out, so the acid dissolves his flesh faster than he can grow it back. Eventually, it eats away so much that there's nothing left to heal. I know what the fanboys are thinking: "Nuh-uh! The acid can't eat through Wolverine's skeleton! It's indestructible! So once he gets out of the acid, he just grows back from his bone marrow." His adamantium skeleton is indestructible, but it's not completely solid. It can't be. Bones serve an important purpose by
creating blood cells in the marrow. If Wolverine's bones were completely sealed in adamantium, then new blood cells would never escape into his bloodstream. No matter how quickly he heals, he'd never be able to replace his blood, leading to anemia and death. That means the adamantium (at the very least) has to have microscopic holes in it to allow blood cells to escape. The acid bath can get in that way and dissolve him completely, leaving nothing but a hollow, metal skeleton.
3. Stop His Healing Factor - The healing factor is the big thing everyone points to for the invulnerability of Wolverine. It means there's presumably nothing you can do to him that can't be fixed in minutes or even seconds. In the comics, he's been reduced to bones and grown back. So, fine. Just take his healing factor away. In
X-Men #5, Cyclops injected Wolverine with microscopic robots that shut off his healing factor.
That works, but you can also expose him to a radioactive material like
carbonadium that weakens his healing. Or expose him to a power-canceling mutant like Leech. Or cut him with the
Muramasa Blade that negates healing. Or just subject him to so much damage for such a long period of time that his healing can't keep up and burns out. Without his healing factor, a flamethrower could take him out.
2. Throw Wolverine Up Against His Nemesis - With everything they've thrown at Wolverine in the comics, it gets pretty ridiculous. In
Uncanny X-Men Annual #11, Wolverine grew his entire body back from a single drop of blood. If you're going to imagine that extreme a scenario, then let's just imagine Wolverine going up against a new supervillain, Wolverine-Killer. Wolverine-Killer is a mutant whose only power is that he can instantly kill Wolverine, permanently and completely, just by thinking about him. That would be a short fight.
1. Make Wolverine Unpopular - Ultimately, the real reason Wolverine is so powerful is that the fans want him to be the ultimate bad-axe. There are other mutants who should be just as (if not more) powerful, but they don't get the press. For example, nobody argues that
Rogue is the most powerful superhero in the Marvel Universe, even though she theoretically has access to every mutant power in existence. That's because she's not that popular. So the best way to kill Wolverine would be to cancel his comic books, movies, and TV appearances. Much like Tinker Bell needs people to believe in her, Wolverine needs fanboys geeking out over how cool he is to survive. Once his popularity drops, Wolverine would be pitted against the next most popular superhero, who quickly and easily kills Wolverine, just to show how powerful
he is.
In researching this article, I found a lot of great info, and I'd like to thank the users in the following discussions:
Comicvine: Has Wolverine Ever Been Decapitated?
A How-to Guide on Killing Wolverine of the X-Men
Escapist Magazine Forums: Ways to kill Wolverine
Stackexchange: How to kill Wolverine
Killermovies: Can Wolverine Die?
Marvel: Can You Kill Wolverine By Drowning Him?
The Asylum: Could Wolverine Starve to Death?
Comic Collector: Can Wolverine Drown?
Which would be your method of killing Wolverine? Do you still think he can't be killed? Let us know in the comments.
[Image Source: Alphacoders]
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