8/09/2012

Jennifer Lawrence The Hunger Games (2012)

The Olympics feature some great events, but some are just stupid. Curling? Badminton? Please. Why not replace them with a sport from the future?
Traditionally, geeks and nerds shy away from sports. But science-fiction is full of great fictional sporting events.

From planet pool to tarantulas, here are a few that I think would be cool in the next Olympic games.
Bat'leth Tournament from Star Trek: The Next GenerationIn the Star Trek universe the Bat'leth, or "sword of honor", is a traditional Klingon blade weapon. It's kind of like a moon-shaped, two-ended sword. In the tournament, these sharp, dangerous swords are used to hack and slash each other. We already have fencing. This is the next logical step. This could be great especially if they in Klingon uniforms. Imagine Michel Morganella taking out his violent frustration on the Bat'Leth field instead of twitter. Speaking of dangerous games, what about...

Pool With Planets from Red Dwarf
While cue sports like Billiards are not accepted into the Olympics by the IOC I think they'd make an exception for this one. In the Red Dwarf episode "White Hole" the ship is in danger of being sucked into a "White Hole." The only way to save them is to fire a thermonuclear bomb into a planet and knock it into the hole. Lister says the controls are like a game of pool and decides to play. How cool would that be in the Olympics? We'd sit glued to our seats as we watched Argentina try to knock a planet into a moon on a bank shot. Then the Americans could try and knock the moon in a trick shot.  The only problem? We'd probably destroy the universe. Maybe something a little more civilized like...
Anbo-Jyutsu (Anbo-Jitsu) from Star Trek: The Next Generation
Olympics began including Martial Arts in 1964 with Judo, but what if they took it to the next level? The future of martial arts in Star Trek: The Next Generation was called Anbo-Jyutsu. Played in a circular arena, two opponents would face off wearing light protective armor and a helmet. The solid visor effectively blinded them. They use a staff as a weapon, with a proximity sensor on one end and a cushion on the other. Using the proximity sensor, a player could tell where their opponent was. In "The Icarus Factor" Riker settled a dispute with his father using the game and it popped up several other times. Two blind guys hitting each other with stick. Now that would be real Olympic fun. Speaking of fun...

Blernsball from FuturamaThe IOC kicked baseball out of the Olympics because Major League Baseball wouldn't send its best players. Blernsball could bring it back. In the animated series Futurama, set in the 31st century, they play a future version of baseball called Blernsball. The game is played a lot like baseball, but with a tether on the ball. Hitting a billboard unlocks a "multi-ball." Players run the bases in a hovercar and ride giant tarantulas. Its a confusing game, but not much more than Rugby. Cuba would probably still win.

The Hunger Games
Based on the novel and the movie this battle pits teenagers in a fight to the death in the forest. Only one problem with this idea: No one would watch teenagers fight to the death. So, let the gymnasts fight to the death. They look like teenagers anyway. There'd be more cheating than the East German swimming team. Sebulba was a major cheater in a dangerous sport like...

Podracing from Star Wars: Episode 1 - The Phantom Menace
In Star Wars contestants strap rockets to escape pods and race across the desert. The game is loud, violent and destructive. Perfect for a slow Olympic afternoon. Plus, since NASA funding has been slashed, there are plenty of spare rockets for sale. Who knows? Maybe Pod Racing could help pay for a mission to Mars!
These are just my ideas, but there are plenty more. Real Steel? Running ManSolarbabies? The list goes on and on.

What ideas do you have for a new Olympic sport? Next week (8/16) I'll update this post with your best comments.

Top Comments
  • "Umm, hello! Disc Wars! (TRON:Legacy)" - Jessica Stank
  • "How about Rollerball for the more extreme audience. Sharing its name with the film from which it originates (the 1975 version of course, lets ignore the the 2002 rehash), Rollerball involves two teams on rollerskates (three members ride motorcycles) traversing an oval track with the aim of throwing a steel ball into the opposition's goal. This is a full-contact sport where pretty much anything goes. CAUTION may involve the occasional loss of limb or death.

    Of course, one sport that could actually make it into the Olympics is Jugger. Whilst it originates from the 1989 flick 'The Salute of the Jugger', it has gained popularity as an actual sport in many countries around the world." - TheReluctantGeek
  • "Podracing would be awesome." - The Golden Eagle
  • "I think they should try to attract more viewers with roller derby, mud wrestling, stuff like that. Come on, sex sells." - Pat Dilloway
  • "Quidditch!" - S. L. Hennessy 
What science fiction sport should be in the 2014 Olympics?
[Image Source: inc.com]

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8 comments:

S. L. Hennessy said...

Quidditch!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I could compete with a Bat'leth! I actually own one.

Jessica Stank said...

Umm, hello! Disc Wars! (TRON:Legacy)

L.G. Keltner said...

A Bat'leth battle would be cool to see. Playing pool with planets would be awesome, but it would only be fair if they were unpopulated. The mass genocide might give the Olympic reputation a bit of a black eye.

Pat Dilloway said...

I think they should try to attract more viewers with roller derby, mud wrestling, stuff like that. Come on, sex sells.

The Golden Eagle said...

Podracing would be awesome.

A Daft Scots Lass said...

Just popped over from Jeremy's blog for the Dog Days of Summer but I think I'm a wee bit early.

I'll come back later.

TheReluctantGeek said...

How about Rollerball for the more extreme audience. Sharing its name with the film from which it originates (the 1975 version of course, lets ignore the the 2002 rehash), Rollerball involves two teams on rollerskates (three members ride motorcycles) traversing an oval track with the aim of throwing a steel ball into the opposition's goal. This is a full-contact sport where pretty much anything goes. CAUTION may involve the occasional loss of limb or death.

Of course, one sport that could actually make it into the Olympics is Jugger. Whilst it originates from the 1989 flick 'The Salute of the Jugger', it has gained popularity as an actual sport in many countries around the world.

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