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How To Act Like You Know All About 'The Avengers' When You Don't Have A Clue [Superheroes]

The Avengers opens this week. Your friends are excited, but you could care less. Here's how you can look like you know everything there is to know about the movie in nine simple phrases.

Your friends talk about some guy named Thor and "Mjolnir" like you should know what they're talking about. They make you feel silly since you have no idea what a "Loki" is. As for "The Hulk," you remember hearing about the TV series, but that's it.

Maybe you know a little bit about the movies, but haven't seen them all and don't have time to catch up.

Here are nine easy phrases you can use to pretend you totally understand what The Avengers (2012) is all about.

9) "I Miss Ed Norton"

Why? This is a hot button. There are two big budget Hulk films. The first, by Ang Lee, is generally regarded as artsy crap. The second is considered really, really good starring Ed Norton. When they announced the Avengers movie it was presumed Norton would cast as Bruce Banner (Hulk), but at the last minute they cast Mark Ruffalo. Most fans miss him.
Warning: If they ask you why you prefer Ed Norton over Mark Ruffalo, just roll your eyes and say, "Have you seen The Incredible Hulk?" That will start a whole new conversation about the film and should allow you to sit back and relax.

8) "Tony Stark. Am I Right?"

Why? The most popular Marvel character right now is Tony Stark, played by Robert Downey Jr. If anyone says anything about the movies, just say that with a knowing look. They'll nod, agree with you and you can go on to talk about any of his other films in the context of what a great actor he is.
Warning: If they ask you what your favorite part of Iron Man I or II was, just shrug and say, "The suit." That should cover a lot of bases.

7) "Is It Pronounced Mee-Yohl-Nahr or Mee-Yohl-Neer?"

Why? Thor's hammer is called Mjölnir. Frankly, it doesn't matter. Even the director of the Thor movie, Kenneth Branagh, admitted he wasn't sure. But, it's a great conversational topic. Plus, most people have no idea the hammer has a name. It gives you geek cred.
Warning: If anyone calls you out on it just point them to the dictionary pronunciation of the word which is myawl-nir.

6) "You Know, For A Crazy Homeless Person... He's Pretty Cut."

Why: It's a line from the Thor movie that got big laughs. Just drop it into an awkward silence and watch everyone crack up.
Warning: If no one laughs just point to the nearest Avengers poster say "Hey, it's Myow-Myow." That line from the film should get a few smirks and can redirect attention to the movie poster. It can also lead to a call-back or segue to #8.

5) "Gwyneth Paltrow?"

Why?  Gwyneth Paltrow was cast as Virginia "Pepper" Potts in the Iron Man films. Some hate her while others love her. Based on the reaction you get you can know which way to swing your knowing looks while you say, "I know right?"

4) "I Hope They Make a Solo Black Widow Movie" 

Why? This one will make it look like your a fan of the films. The Avengers team is made up of six members. Four of them have stand-alone movies (Hulk, Captain America, Iron Man and Thor) but two do not: Hawkeye, played by Jeremy Renner, and Black Widow played by Scarlett Johansson. We don't know if Hawkeye deserves a solo movie, but most fans thought she was great in Iron Man II. Since you know she wasn't in the other films people will assume that you've seen them all.

3) "You Know, Lou Ferrigno Does The Voice of the Hulk"

Why? It makes you look like a fountain of useful trivia. Body-builder Lou Ferrigno has played the Hulk in the TV series The Incredible Hulk and three TV specials. He voiced the Hulk in the The Incredible Hulk movie and various animated shows. When people think "The Hulk" they think Lou Ferrigno. Since he's not likely to be visible on-screen, most people wouldn't realize he's in the movie.

2) "This is Going To Be Great. Firefly was amazing."

Why? Joss Whedon is the director of the movie and has a cult following for his short-lived science-fiction western-space series Firefly. Not only will it build your cred for this movie, it makes you look like a Firefly fan. That's two fan points for the price of one!
Warning: This may lead to a conversation about the TV show Firefly. If you've never heard of it, just say "Jane right?" Then nod knowingly to whatever everyone else says.

1) "Avengers Assemble!"

Why: Tagline from the movie, and the comic books. It'll get everyone pumped up. If you want maximum impact say it right as they open the door to the theater.
Warning: Don't say it more than twice or it gets really annoying, really fast.

Are you planning to watch The Avengers this Friday? If you're a fan, do you have any advice for someone new to the movie?

If you're here for the A-Z challenge, my brother's post will be up later today. Check back soon!

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  1. Fortunately, I don't have to fake it! And yes, seeing it Friday for sure!

  2. I havent read any of the comics, but i have watched the previous movies & no fairly enough to get by & not have to use this list. HOWEVER, I'd like to say that if any noob were to use these lines with me, I'd be convinced. :P Awesome list lol!

  3.  Thanks Neil. Glad I could help a noob fool a comic book master such as yourself.

  4. :) I loved this list. Thank you for helping me appear hipper about the Avengers than I am.

  5. You got it M Pax, I won't tell anyone. ;)

  6. edit- The Ed Norton Hulk was REALLY, REAAAALLLLY bad.  

  7. Really Ryan? Why do you feel that way?


Thanks for commenting!.