3/19/2012

This week, my brother and I will be reposting some of our favorite blog posts that didn't get enough attention. This one was originally posted on 04/11/2011...

When Lucas made the Star Wars prequel Attack of the Clones, he introduced us to a new character in the form of bounty hunter Boba Fett's father. It turns out the apple fell far from the tree as he was the most worthless bounty hunter ever.

1. Jango Was a Moron - Jango is hired to kill Senator Amidala. Instead of shooting her in the head, he hires an assassin to do the job in the most moronic way possible; by dropping poisonous worms into her room. Instead of hiring a good assassin, he hires an idiot who gets herself chased and caught by the Jedi after Boba's plan backfires. The worthless assassin is ready to give up the whole plan. Then, in an undoubtedly unethical move, Jango shoots and kills his partner to keep her from talking.

If he was following them the whole time, wouldn't it have been better to kill the Jedi instead of his partner? He could have killed them with the darts, gone back and finished the job. Instead, he leaves the Jedi with a traceable dart that leads them right to the hidden clone planet of his employers.

2. Jango Couldn't Hit the Broad Side of a Barn
Bounty hunters should be a good shot, but he couldn't shoot anything. He shots hundreds of times in the film and never hit anyone but his partner.

3. Jango's Armor Was Worthless
A good bounty hunter knows the value of protection. The purpose of body armor is to protect yourself from attack. Both Boba and his father wore special armor that covered their entire bodies. This allowed them to resist most attacks. That is until a Jedi Knight clumsily swung a light saber and cut his head off.

Not only did a Jedi run straight at him and take off his noggin, it was the most awkward of all the Jedi: Mace Windu. Mace had all the style and grace of a water buffalo and he still managed to cut off the head of a seasoned bounty hunter. Isn't the point of a helmet to protect your head? Shouldn't it have provided some resistance? He knew he was jumping into an arena with dozens of light sabers, shouldn't he have at least anticipated one might take a swing at him? Nope, he unceremoniously falls to the ground dead. Boba took his helmet and, no doubt, installed a couple of neck shields.

4. Jango Had All the Stealth of a Gorilla - Good bounty hunters know how to be discreet and stealthy. Not Jango. When the Jedi show up at his house, the evidence that he tried to kill the senator is sitting in plain sight. What does he do? He asks his son to close the closet door. The dumbest move ever. Sure, he used some secret language, but it was easy to figure out he was asking Boba to hide something. The military have a set of coded hand signals for silent communication. Couldn't he have taught something to like that to his son?

So, Jango Fett was a terrible shot, unethical, disloyal, careless and stupid. The worst bounty hunter ever.

What do you think? Was Jango Fett the worst bounty hunter ever?
[Image Source: Wookiepedia]

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2 comments:

Maurice Mitchell said...

General Zod, I never thought of that. It also explains why the stormtroopers fell for the ole Jedi mind trick.

General Zod said...

This explains why the "Storm Troopers" in the ensuing Star Wars storyline are so incompetent. Remember they were all clones of "the worst bounty hunter ever".

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