6/29/2011

In Return of the Jedi, we were introduced to the lovable teddy bear warriors of Endor, the Ewoks. Some people found the Ewoks cute. Other people found them annoying. But there's one thing we can all agree on: the Ewoks looked delicious. They looked fat, but with all the running around and climbing they did, they would have to be pretty lean. That means they have plenty of meat on their bones. When you get the chance, here are five ways to serve Ewok. If no Ewok is available, substitute chicken, because (as everyone knows) Ewoks taste like chicken.

Fried Ewok
This is a basic Ewok recipe, good for beginners. Be sure to cook Ewok thoroughly to avoid contamination by Endor coli bacteria. (Adapted from Patti La Belle's recipe)

Ingredients:
3 pounds whole Ewok, cut into pieces
1 cup all-purpose flour
Salt and black pepper to taste
1 cup womprat juice (optional)
1 teaspoon paprika
1 quart vegetable oil for frying

Directions:
1. Remove fur with an Ewok de-furrer (found at any quality grocery store). Season Ewok pieces with salt, pepper, and paprika to taste. Roll in flour.
2. Add 1/2 to 3/4 inch oil to a large, heavy podrace helmet (or skillet if no helmet available). Heat to medium-high.
3. Place Ewok pieces in hot oil. Cover, and fry until golden, turning once, 15 to 20 minutes. Drain on paper towels.

Barbecued Ewok
This is the classic way to prepare Ewok, and the most popular. Nothing like the smell of roasting Ewok on an open fire under the night sky of Endor. (Adapted from DDW at Food.com)

Ingredients:
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 teaspoon butter
1 cup ketchup
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup chili sauce
2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
1/2-3/4 tablespoon celery seed
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 dashes hot pepper sauce
8 large Ewok breast halves, bone-in with skin

Directions:
1. Prep Gamma flux boiler to high intensity. If no boiler is available, heat saucepan. In either case, saute the garlic in butter until tender.
2. Add the next 8 ingredients.
3. Bring to a boil, stirring constantly.
4. Remove from the heat and set aside.
5. Prepare the Ewok by removing fur and pounding breasts to one-inch thickness. Grill the Ewok (preferably over wood chips to retain woodsy flavor) covered over medium heat for 30 minutes, turning occasionally.
6. Baste Ewok with sauce.
7. Grill 15 minutes longer or until juices run clear.
8. Continue basting Ewok and turning during the last 15 minutes of cooking.
9. Serve Ewok with any extra sauce you set aside for dipping.
Serves 8

Grilled Ewok Emperor Salad
This is a variation on what was once known as a "Caesar salad." Of course, there is no Caesar in Star Wars, so it's known as an Emperor salad.

Ingredients:
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 cup croutons
1 lb. boneless, skinless Ewok breasts
1/2 teaspoon salt and black pepper to taste
1 Gungan tongue (optional)
2 teaspoon minced garlic
2 tablespoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon Dijon mustard
2 dashes red pepper sauce
1 large head Romaine lettuce
3 tablespoons freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Directions:
1. Lightly oil neutron steamer (or grill rack or broiler pan, if no neutron steamer available). Season Ewok with 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper. Grill Ewok or broil 3 inches from heat, turning once until cooked but moist (5 to 6 minutes).
2. Cool 5 minutes then cut Ewok into slices 1/4 inch thick.
3. Mash Gungan tongue, garlic, and remaining salt to paste in large salad bowl. Add lemon juice, mustard, pepper sauce and remaining pepper; whisk until blended. Gradually whisk in remaining 1/3 cup oil.
4. Add sliced Ewok and toss to coat.
5. Add torn lettuce, cheese, and croutons; toss well.
Serves 4

Ewok Kabobs
We recommend young Ewok for this recipe, since the adult Ewok tends to dry out quickly. For an authentic flair, use genuine Ewok spears, preferably from ones you've killed. (Adapted from a recipe at Insane Chicken)

Ingredients:
4 skinless, boneless Ewok breast halves -cubed
1 large green bell pepper, cut into 2 inch pieces
1 onion, cut into wedges
1 large red bell pepper, cut into 2 inch pieces
1 cup barbeque sauce
5 Ewok spears
1/2 cup pickled Wookie claws (optional)

Directions:
1. Preheat grill for high heat.
2. Thread the Ewok cubes, green bell pepper, onion, and red bell pepper pieces onto spears alternately.
3. Lightly oil the grill grate. Place Ewok kabobs on the prepared grill, and brush with barbeque sauce. Cook, turning and brushing with barbecue sauce frequently, for 15 minutes. Garnish plates with Wookie claws, if desired.

Ewok Quesadilla
Even a great and hearty meal may have some Ewok that wasn't used up. This quesadilla recipe is great for using up leftover Ewok. (Adapted from a recipe at Parents.com)

Ingredients:
2 cups chopped, cooked Ewok
1/2 cup shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese
2 tablespoons chopped red onion
1-3/4 teaspoons taco seasoning
1-1/2 tablespoons chopped cilantro (optional)
4 6-inch tortillas
1/2 cup salsa (optional)

Directions:
1. Heat oven to 450°. In a medium-size bowl, stir together Ewok, cheese, onion and taco seasoning. Stir in cilantro, if desired.
2. Place 2 tortillas on baking rack over a baking sheet. Spread 1 heaping cup of Ewok mixture over each tortilla.
3. Top each with another tortilla and press down gently.
4. Bake quesadillas at 450° for 8 minutes or until cheese has melted.
5. Cut into quarters and serve with salsa for a genuine South-of-the-Death-Star flavor.

Once you've tried these delicious recipes, let us know how they turned out.
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